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望长城内外

Shadow Out of Dust

Scarlett Zuo

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水是眼波横,
山是眉峰聚。
我心倾卿所,
眉眼盈盈处。
6/27/2009

物理系的音乐会

         接连几天,到了下午便是一场阵雨,将积攒一天的溽热冲去,清清爽爽地蜕出一个悠长惬意的傍晚,宛若一个身材颀长的少女,将长袍换了短裙,让人不禁顾盼流连。
         这样的雨后,很让我有漫步的心情。看看时间,上山恰能赶上物理系一年一度的音乐会。于是拾级而上,赴“兴趣”之约。

         物理系的音乐会,主角自然都是物理系师生。扫了一眼背景介绍,几乎都是幼年学琴,于音乐殿堂徜徉良久后终于参透这只是生活之一隅,更广阔的天地还在物理——怎么看怎么觉得这种模式很有"浪子回头"的超脱味道。或许,正因为这种超脱与跨越,他们的演出才更与众不同。传统的音乐会,尽管演奏者也会活跃气氛,但多少高山仰止,正襟危坐中是一种对作品、对前辈的尊崇。物理学家的演绎,则仿佛是引荐一位好友给你——三言两语道出所选曲目的背景故事——轻松恬淡,抛个话题,几个人海阔天空地便熟落起来。他们的拉威尔、莫扎特,一样的行云流水、甜美清澈,每一曲却有了更多动情的微笑、俏皮的肢体语言;他们的贝多芬,一样的铿锵有力、恢宏雄壮,每个音符却透着更多少年的轻狂不羁与舍我其谁的霸气。
        印象最深的,当属一位女教授演奏的Turlough O'Carolan——欢快悠扬,余音绕梁。她的背景介绍在固有模式之外有这么一个亮点:Her musical and scientific lives collide joyously each spring semester when she teaches "The Physics of Musical Sound". 也许下个春季,可以去尝试一下?
       
        散场,下山。忽然想起当初向义孚汇报个人生活进展的时候,他回信说,有个学物理的男友,你会有不小的收获(It's very rewarding to have a physicist as your boyfriend.)。Wink
6/24/2009

Books you can't live without: top 100

From Guardian: Books you can't live without: the top 100
英国《卫报》2007年3月1日评选出的“人生必读的100本书”
Instructions:
Has been read ; Love; Plan to read

1《傲慢与偏见》简·奥斯汀 Pride and Prejudice Jane Austen
2《指环王》J.R.R.托尔金 The Lord of the Rings JRR Tolkien
3《简·爱》  夏洛蒂·勃朗特 Jane Eyre Charlotte Bronte
4《哈利波特》系列  J.K.罗琳 Harry Potter series JK Rowling
5《杀死一只知更鸟》哈柏·李 To Kill a Mockingbird Harper Lee
6 《圣经》The Bible 
7《呼啸山庄》  艾米莉·勃朗特 Wuthering Heights  Emily Bronte
8《一九八四》  乔治·奥威尔 Nineteen Eighty-Four George Orwell
9《黑暗元素三部曲》  菲力普·普曼 His Dark Materials  Philip Pullman
10《远大前程》  查尔斯·狄更斯 Great Expectations Charles Dickens
11《小妇人》  露易莎·奥尔珂德 Little Women  Louisa MAlcott
12《德伯家的苔丝》  托马斯·哈代 Tess of the d'Urbervilles Thomas Hardy
13《第22条军规》  约瑟夫·海勒 Catch-22  Joseph Heller
14《莎士比亚全集》  威廉姆·莎士比亚 Complete Works of Shakespeare William Shakespeare
15《蝴蝶梦》  达夫妮·杜穆里埃 Rebecca  Daphne Du Maurier
16《哈比人历险记》  J.R.R.托尔金 The Hobbit   JRR Tolkien
17《鸟歌》  赛巴斯蒂安·福克斯 Birdsong Sebastian Faulks
18《麦田里的守望者》  J.D.赛林格 Catcher in the Rye  JD Salinger
19《时间旅行者的妻子》  奥德丽·尼芬格 The Time Traveler's Wife Audrey Niffenegger
20《米德镇的春天》  乔治·艾略特 Middlemarch George Eliot
21《飘》  玛格丽特·米切尔 Gone With The Wind Margaret Mitchell
22《了不起的盖茨比》  F·斯科特·菲兹杰拉德 The Great Gatsby F Scott Fitzgerald
23《荒凉山庄》  查尔斯·狄更斯 Bleak House Charles Dickens
24《战争与和平》  列夫·托尔斯泰 War and Peace Leo Tolstoy
25《银河系漫游指南》  道格拉斯·亚当斯 The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy  Douglas Adams
26《故园风雪后》  伊夫林·沃 Brideshead Revisited Evelyn Waugh
27《罪与罚》  陀思妥耶夫斯基 Crime and Punishment Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28《愤怒的葡萄》  约翰·斯坦贝克 Grapes of Wrath John Steinbeck
29《爱丽丝漫游奇境记》  刘易斯·卡罗尔 Alice in Wonderland Lewis Carroll
30《柳林风声》  肯尼斯·格雷厄姆 The Wind in the Willows  Kenneth Grahame
31《安娜·卡列尼娜》  列夫·托尔斯泰 Anna Karenina Leo Tolstoy
32《大卫·科波菲尔》  查尔斯·狄更斯 David Copperfield Charles Dickens
33《纳尼亚传奇》  C.S.路易斯 Chronicles of Narnia CS Lewis (but didn't finish all)
34《爱玛》  简·奥斯汀 Emma Jane Austen
35《劝导》  简·奥斯汀 Persuasion  Jane Austen
36《纳尼亚传奇:狮子,女巫和魔衣橱》  C.S.路易斯 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe  CS Lewis
37《追风筝的孩子》  卡勒德·胡赛尼 The Kite Runner Khaled Hosseini
38《科雷利上尉的曼陀林》  路易·德·伯尼埃尔 Captain Corelli's Mandolin  Louis de Bernières
39《艺伎回忆录》  阿瑟·高顿 Memoirs of a Geisha Arthur Golden
40《小熊维尼》  A.A.麦尼 Winnie the Pooh  AA Milne
41《动物庄园:乔治·奥威尔的著名政治寓言》  乔治·奥威尔 Animal Farm George Orwell
42《达·芬奇密码》  丹·布朗 The Da Vinci Code Dan Brown
43《百年孤独》  加西亚·马尔克斯 One Hundred Years of Solitude Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44《为欧文·米尼祈祷》  约翰·欧文 A Prayer for Owen Meaney  John Irving
45《白衣女人》  威尔基·科林斯 The Woman in White Wilkie Collins
46《清秀佳人》   L.M.蒙哥马利 Anne of Green Gables LM Montgomery
 47 《远离尘嚣》  托马斯·哈代 Far From The Madding Crowd  Thomas Hardy
48《女仆的故事》  玛格莉特·爱特伍德 The Handmaid's Tale Margaret Atwood
49《蝇王》  威廉·戈尔丁 Lord of the Flies William Golding
50《赎罪》  伊恩·麦克尤恩 Atonement Ian McEwan
51《少年Pi的奇幻漂流》  扬·马特尔 Life of Pi Yann Martel
52《沙丘》   弗兰克·赫伯特 Dune Frank Herbert
53《令人难以宽慰的农庄》  斯黛拉·吉本思 Cold Comfort Farm Stella Gibbons
54《理智与情感》  简·奥斯汀 Sense and Sensibility Jane Austen
55《如意郎君》  维克拉姆·赛思 A Suitable Boy Vikram Seth
56《风之影》  卡洛斯鲁·依斯·萨丰 The Shadow of the Wind Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57《双城记》  查尔斯·狄更斯 A Tale Of Two Cities Charles Dickens
58《美丽新世界》  奥尔德斯·伦纳德·赫胥黎 Brave New World  Aldous Huxley
59《深夜小狗秘密习题》  马克'海登 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time Mark Haddon
60《霍乱时期的爱情》  加西亚·马尔克斯 Love In The Time Of Cholera   Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61《人鼠之间》  约翰·斯坦贝克 Of Mice and Men   John Steinbeck
62《洛丽塔》  拉基米尔·纳博科夫 Lolita Vladimir Nabokov
63《校园秘史》  唐娜·塔特 The Secret History Donna Tartt
64《可爱的骨头》  爱丽丝·茜波德 The Lovely Bones Alice Sebold
65《基督山伯爵》  大仲马 The Count of Monte Cristo   Alexandre Dumas
66《在路上》  杰克·克鲁亚克 On The Road   Jack Kerouac
67《无名的裘德》  托马斯·哈代 Jude the Obscure   Thomas Hardy
68《BJ单身日记》  海伦·菲尔丁 Bridget Jones's Diary   Helen Fielding
69 《午夜的孩子们》  萨曼"拉什迪 Midnight's Children   Salman Rushdie
70《白鲸》  赫尔曼·梅尔维尔 Moby Dick   Herman Melville
71《雾都孤儿》  查尔斯·狄更斯 Oliver Twist Charles Dickens
72《吸血鬼》  布拉姆·斯托克 Dracula Bram Stoker
73《神秘园》  弗朗西丝·霍奇森·伯内特 The Secret Garden   Frances Hodgson Burnett
74《岛国笔记》  比尔·布莱森 Notes From A Small Island  Bill Bryson
75《尤利西斯》  詹姆斯·乔伊斯 Ulysses James Joyce
76《瓶中美人》  西尔维亚·普拉斯 The Bell Jar  Sylvia Plath
77《燕子与鹦鹉》  亚瑟·兰塞姆 Swallows and Amazons   Arthur Ransome
78《萌芽》  埃米尔·左拉 Germinal  Emile Zola
79《名利场》  威廉·梅克匹斯·萨克雷 Vanity Fair  William Makepeace Thackeray
80《迷情书踪》  A.S.拜雅特 Possession AS Byatt
81《圣诞颂歌》  查尔斯·狄更斯 A Christmas Carol   Charles Dickens
82《云图》  大卫·米切尔 Cloud Atlas   David Mitchell
83《紫色》  艾丽斯·沃克 The Color Purple   Alice Walker
84《告别有情天》 /《来日无多》 石黑一雄 The Remains of the Day  Kazuo Ishiguro
85《包法利夫人》  居斯塔夫·福楼拜 Madame Bovary  Gustave Flaubert
86《平衡》  罗辛顿·米斯瑞 A Fine Balance  Rohinton Mistry
87《夏洛特的网》  E.B.怀特 Charlotte's Web EB White
88《你死后遇到的五个人》 米奇·艾尔邦 The Five People You Meet In Heaven Mitch Albom
89《福尔摩斯探案集》  亚瑟·柯南·道尔 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90《神奇的树》  伊妮·布來敦 The Faraway Tree Collection Enid Blyton
91《黑暗的心》  约瑟夫·康拉德 Heart of Darkness Joseph Conrad (Didn't finish last time)
92《小王子》  安东尼·德·圣艾修伯里 The Little Prince Antoine deSaint-Exupery
93《捕蜂器》  伊恩·班克斯 The Wasp Factory   Iain Banks
94《海底沉船》  理查德·艾德蒙斯 Watership Down Richard Adams
95《笨伯联盟》  约翰·肯尼迪·图尔 A Confederacy of Dunces   John Kennedy Toole
96《爱丽丝城》  内尔·舒特 A Town Like Alice Nevil Shute
97《三个火枪手》大仲马 The Three Musketeers Alexandre Dumas
98《哈姆雷特》 威廉·莎士比亚 Hamlet William Shakespeare
99《查理和巧克力工厂》罗尔德·达尔 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory   Roald Dahl
100《悲惨世界》  维克多·雨果Les Misérables Victor Hugo

I have read 29; love 6; plan to read 7.

6/22/2009

Atlas Shrugged

        Atlas是希腊神话中撑起天的那个神,倘若他选择甩甩手走开,天也就塌了。生活中,是谁撑起了天?生活中,倘若这些擎天的人选择甩手走开,剩下的人又将如何?
        Ayn Rand用了1168页来回答这些问题。
        据说,这本书在美国的影响力仅次于圣经。

        全书三十章,我最喜欢第五章。之所以会对这章产生强烈的认同,简而言之是因为这句话:“...[T]here's only one form of human depravity -- the man without a purpose.”权且译作:人堕落的唯一途径就是盲目地活着。 这句话符合我一贯的追求:人一定要有目标。我仍然记得读到这里的时候,那种因阅读产生共鸣而盘旋在胸中的愉悦,那种迫不及待想一页页翻下去的心情,揣测着剧情,再一点点验证——就想我一贯读小说的风格,任马由缰地随书而去,全然不顾所适,也早已忘了身在何处。
         然而,读着读着,我发现,与其说这是本虚构的小说,不如说她书写了历史,中国的现代史。或者,更准确一些,1957年此书出版,她预言了中国的现代史。不要笑,我也觉得荒谬,但是,当闹剧发生在我们自己身上,你还能够无动于衷甚至幸灾乐祸吗?
        Ayn Rand描绘了这样一个社会,人们信奉共产主义,最高的道德标准就是奉献、牺牲精神。人人都要全力以赴地工作,之后单位按需分配。领导人一再强调将引领人民走上共同致富的道路。人们向往着这个美丽和谐的社会,也为自己崇高的道德标准感到欣慰与自豪。但是,这种道德标准真的能够引他们走向富强吗?Ayn Rand 坚定地回答:不能!
         倘若富强不是这种崇高道德的归宿,那什么才是?奉献的道德观将引发道德危机,因为无论你付出的多还是少,你得到的都是一样,“能者”之名带给你的是更多的劳作,而非任何物质、精神上的奖励。久而久之,还有谁愿意毫无回报地付出呢?由于分配是取平均值,分配之初,均值以及均值之下的劳苦大众会得到一部分利益,但之后呢?均值之上的,尽管为数不多,却个个是资本家,寡头垄断的
大财豪。他们白手起家,经历了诸多坎坷历练、凭着自己的能力与努力赢得了巨额财富,他们怎么会笨到看不清这种共产是对他们的剥削?凭什么他们会心甘情愿地任自己的心血付之一炬?倘若他们选择罢工,选择停止生产,选择停止“剥削”工人,这个社会会不会群龙无首?不会,因为有人群的地方,就会有左中右。所以,就算全社会“共产”了那几个资本家的财富,还会有新的小资本家成为长江后浪,成为众矢之的。不会,因为有些人能力欠佳但野心不小,他们会趁着社会动荡之际,逞尽阿谀之能,借着关系网攀爬渗透到政府机关要职。然而,均值,毕竟是下降了;而且,还会一直降到底——工人缺乏劳动积极性、工厂缺乏生产技术、企业缺乏正规管理。人才,那些生产力高于均值的人,那些社会生产的原动力,或者远走他乡,寻找“按劳分配”;或者韬光养晦,匿迹于市井。小人得志,人才流失,生产水平一降再降,领导人慌了,紧急出台宏观调控政策:每个工厂每年要完成一定生产指标,不许多不许少;每个公民每年只能购买规定份额的粮油蔬菜、生活必需品,年季之间也不得有波动;工厂不许私自解雇或雇俑工人,工人亦不许无故调动工作。不过,这政策是有灵活性的,“哪有什么事情是绝对的?”倘若你能为政府所用,倘若你的背景在政府高层有足够的影响力,通融也不是不可以的。没有必要创新,这个社会追求的是稳定;没有必要各抒己见,华盛顿的声明具有不容置疑的权威性,公民要绝对地服从——唯唯诺诺才是好管理的人民。碌碌无为并不可耻,可耻的是追求快乐的享乐主义;美丽与出众是危险的,丑陋与平庸才是避风港。 尽管这个社会宣扬着奉献的义务,但这是一个缺失责任感的社会,一味服从的人既没有担起责任的能力,也没有培养自己能力的动力——均值以上的人会承担他们的义务。华盛顿说,小麦不是最好的选择。于是,几百车丰收的小麦废弃在铁道旁,腐烂着旁观着整个国家陷入饥荒。那所谓的最好选择没有成熟,所谓的次好选择不过是些有华盛顿背景的果农自我的炒作。当然,媒体不会报道这些,媒体是华盛顿的门面,怎会自取其辱?这饥荒当然是天灾!是人力不可战胜的自然灾害!
         倘若这些,在你的记忆中尽管淡漠,却仍然有些许痕迹,那么Ayn Rand笔下这个社会的进一步沦陷更会让你瞠目结舌。
         并不是所有的人才都选择离开或者沉默,或出于乐观,知识分子总有些不切实际的幻想,认为自己能够力挽狂澜;或出于对于国家的忠诚,与其在沉默中灭亡不如在沉默中爆发。他们站出来,让芸芸众生听到他们的心声——很快,他们成了新的靶子,谁与华盛顿唱反调,谁就是国家公敌,就是封资修的毒苗,就是社会主义的杂草,该被铲除!有些识时务的知识分子作了骑墙派,行尸走肉成了华盛顿的挡箭牌。其余的,大部分被John Galt“解救”到宛若桃花源的Atlantis——自给自足的精英之城。但桃花源、香格里拉,不是人人进得,现实的中国,经历了十年文革,其影响波及之后的几代人。
         或许,我也不该太过悲观,毕竟,文革历时十年还是结束了的,毕竟中国在消亡到Ayn Rand所预言的极限之前选择了改革开放,走上了有中国特色的资本主义道路。或许,中国的那些人才的确找到了他们的Atlantis,只不过是在美洲、在澳洲、在欧洲。

         据说,Ayn Rand当年把书稿交给出版商的时候,面对编辑对于篇幅的质疑,她笑着问了句:有嫌圣经长的吗?
         但毕竟,这本书不是圣经。她为社会的精英创造了Atlantis,但那些次精英呢?那些同样看透了游戏规则却不具备精英素质、但又选择拒绝追随所谓崇高的道德准则的聪明人呢?她给他们的是死路一条。那个以德治国的社会呢?当坍塌成一地废墟之后,Ayn Rand的解药又是什么?资本主义、市场原则。但凡懂点经济的,都知道以毒攻毒这招用在此处救得了一时,却不是长久之计。寡头垄断带来的市场低效并不亚于滥用政府调控。
         事实上,这本书是Ayn Rand对其哲学思想的阐述,她不相信中间地带,所以才会选择极端,一个极端的资本主义的卫道士基于纯逻辑推理描绘出了一个极端的、没有经济、物质基础的共产主义社会的不归路。我一向反对极端,一向认为人生就是在一对对矛盾之间寻求平衡点。单纯的市场经济,抑或单纯的计划经济,都不足取,适合国情的经济体制应该是基于市场经济,政府进行适当的宏观调控。但在现实中,找到这个平衡点又谈何容易?美国人惧怕国有化大抵也是这个原因吧?然而不管怎样,市场经济为基础,资本主义是先于社会主义的意识形态,这点,我想马大胡子也未必会否认。
         既然讨论哲学,自然会有对于道德的拷问。Ayn Rand所推崇的道德观、价值观是:“我以我的生命以及我对自己生命的热爱起誓,我绝不为他人而活,也不会要求他人为我而活。”(I swear by my life and my love of it that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for the sake of mine.)于我,这未免太过极端、太过自私。我甚至质疑这种价值观是否能够维系Atlantis城中的“可持续发展”。Ayn Rand 在强调奉献道德观引发道德危机的时候,似乎忽视了利益人这种价值观所带来的道德危机——当下的经济危机就是最好的佐证。再者,父母对儿女的爱呢?情侣之间的互相迁就呢?因为对方快乐而快乐的满足难道不存在吗?
         我认同她的按劳分配,她的拒绝“过誉的褒奖与无偿的义务”(undeserved reward and unrewarded duties)。坦白地讲,我认同却不曾坚守这个原则——我拒绝无偿的义务,却不拒绝过誉的褒奖。也许,这是虚荣心、是贪婪在作祟,但多少,这个原则该记在心中,时时回味。
         我也认同她说的人对自己生命的热爱,生命高于一切价值。我甚至一向认为我是个相当惜命的人,尽管偶尔也会玩儿“生命、爱情、自由“的排序游戏。我们所受的教育推崇裴多菲的排序:自由 > 爱情 > 生命。同时,我们也推崇勾践的卧薪尝胆——生命 > 自由。
这是一个不自洽的逻辑。当然,有人会争辩说,这叫留得青山在不怕没柴烧,勾践求生的目的还是自由。但这么说是不是又回到了“事事无绝对”的论调?但是,这个论调在逻辑上是自洽的吗?以我现在的功力,回答不了如此高深的哲学、逻辑问题。但这不代表我不曾思考,不曾困惑。冲浪的第一天,我们组一个女生在回程的途中落水了,快游到岸边的时候已是筋疲力竭,同组的人都站在原地看着,我有些看不过去,便游过去帮她。我没有想舍己为人、没有想罗盛教,甚至没有想要助人为乐(得朵小红花),就只是觉得,我应该这么做。我们游回岸边的时候,我不记得她是否向我道谢,但我清楚地记得我的好友很严肃地跟我说:“你不该没穿救生衣就游过去。” 我很是惊诧,说道:“我觉得她需要帮助。” 朋友说:“如果她需要帮助,授课的老师会负责营救,那是他们的责任。” 当我们从这些小处中发掘中美文化差异的时候,其实根源在于道德观、价值观。这不在乎水的深浅,重要的是“人在其位,当司其值”, “不在其位,不谋其值”。何况,我又将自己的生命置于何位?万一河水比我想象的凶险,本来教练救一个就够了,我下去了反倒要救两个。所以,我不应该那么做。类似的,路边的乞丐,要不要接济?政府应该承担起他们的膳食、庇护,纳税人已经交了税。倘若人们都接济乞丐,乞丐会选择在路边捡钱而不会跋涉到政府的救济处,那么救济处就是一种浪费。同时,总会有些好吃懒做的人愿意选择成为乞丐接受救济,好心的援助反而姑息养奸助纣为虐。当然,会有人争辩说,我们的援助也是有限度的,但这岂不又回到了“具体情况具体分析”的“无绝对”理论?是不是说明最初的假设条件就要变了?很多类似的问题,于小处我们不觉得有什么,扩大之后,都是原则问题。
        其实,写到此,我也明白,我的逻辑早就乱了,一面抨击着Ayn Rand的极端,一面也发现了自己平衡点逻辑的不自洽,哈哈。

        不管怎样,了解一个文化,精髓就在于这个文化的价值观。美国人价值观的根本,尽在此书。

Atlas Shruggled

It is said to be the second most influential book in the U.S., the first being The Bible.

1168 pages, three parts, 10 chapters each. My favorite is Part I, Chapter 5. In essence, the resonance is given by this sentence: "...[T]here's only one form of human depravity -- the man without a purpose." The pure joy of achievement after long struggling efforts is both so near and remote that I cannot resist the invisible pulling force of the story, but followed it half-blindly, half-astonished while Ayn Rand unfolding her fiction.

Well, to some extent, it's not a fiction; it was also part of the history of China, where, once upon a time, people were taught, as the book described, that high morality means sacrifice, or "share" in their language; people were taught that everyone should work to the extent of his ability but rewarded the same as every other citizen in the country -- there should be equal distribution based on needs. Chinese were, and still are to some extent, proud of this high morality, the altruism. There was no private property right; everything belonged to the society, to the country. It was predicted that they would achieve a harmonious state where no exploitation exists because monopolies, the mountains that suppresses the working class have been removed, where no poverty suffered because people are equally rich country-wide. But will this altruistic moral code lead them to this harmonious state? Ayn Rand said, firmly, NO!

Then what will happen to a society that worship such moral codes? As shown in Atlas Shrugged, these sacrificial moral codes triggered moral hazard, since no matter how much effort one put in, he receives as much as his neighbor does, and then what's the incentive to work? For those at or below the average ability, which was the majority, they might be better of at first, because they may receive wealth that used to belong to the minority who are above the average. However, what if those above the average become aware of the rule, of their status, i.e. being exploited, and decide to quit? What if they, the Atlas who pillars the society, stop producing -- stop exploiting, if you wish, the average and below? Wherever there are crowds, there are left, middle and right. Therefore, the average dropped. Don't be too naive to think that the average would be stable after removing a handful of industrialists, who were targeted as the enemy of the society. Instead of a "happily-thereafter", the only path the society faced was an ever-dropping average, for the lack of incentive and ability, as well as the drainage of the mind.  People who are capable of becoming Atlas were smart enough (most of them) to hide their intelligence so as not to be aimed; the rest, the incapable, were those who took the power. They obtained important occupations in key industries, in government agencies, not by merit, but by their connections, their friends in Washington. Production kept dropping due to inefficient management by laymen and unskilled labor. A natural, but futile effort the government made to maintain the economy at the then current level was to "order" the quantity being produced by each firm to remain the same. People are assigned to a certain amount of food, of necessities. Everyone has to consume exactly the same amount of goods across years. It is against law to change job, or to fire people. Yet the law is not absolute under certain condition -- if you are useful in certain ways to Washington, or if you have a background influential enough in Washington, you may be granted an exception. There was no need to improve, for the key issue was to maintain the status quo, no reward for creativity, no personal opinion necessary, for obedience, serving your neighbor, were regarded as virtue. Entertainments and beauty were considered guilty and therefore were sacrificed to idling and ugliness. Average, or middle, was the safest one wanted to be. People were not supposed to ask questions, simply taking orders. No need for being responsible either, besides, there was nobody who dare to take any, for both lack of ability to do so and for the hope that people above the average would take care of everything. Everyone should have faith in Washington. For instance, when it is said that wheat is no long the best choice for food, all transportation of wheat stopped and the harvest rotted by the railroad, watching the spread of a country wide famine. The so-called best food was unripe, and some second best was simply fruit that grown by people who have connections in Washington. This famine, of course, was claimed as a result from natural disaster, without any doubt. How amazing it is that all these were exactly what happened in China! 1958, the Great Leap Forward started.  1959-1961, a country wide natural disaster.  And do keep in mind, this book was published in 1957.

Ayn Rand's prediction went on. Some intellectuals, the Atlas, thought they are not satisfied with what the world was becoming and they wanted to be the change. They believe that their voice should be heard, either out of responsibility for the country (or over confident, in Rand's word), or simply out of optimism (over optimistic). Before long, they became the public enemy because the moral code they claimed are opposite to, or diverge from what Washington said. They were about to be removed. Media had lost its independence long ago, along with some intellectuals who gave up and became living corpse, speaking for Washington. The rest, in the book, were "rescued" by John Galt and found Atlantis, where they lived happily thereafter. As what happened in China, as you known, it was 10-year Cultural Revolution, whose effect ripples generations later.

Well, I should not be too pessimistic. After all, Cultural Revolution ended long before Rand's predicted disaster and the leader at that time was wiser than those in the book. After all, it is Capitalism, with Chinese characteristics, that we chose to follow. Also, perhaps, Chinese Atlas indeed found their Atlantis, though in America, Australia, and Europe.

It's said that when Ayn Rand gave her book to the publisher, who was astonished by the length of the book, she asked, was there anyone who thought the Bible was too lengthy?

However, after all, it is not The Bible. She created an Atlantis for Atlas, but what about those who realize the game but not prominent enough to be admitted by the Atlantis? She offered them, death. Her solution to the society as a whole, which is to fully follow the market, also fails to convince me.  We all know that market has failures, for instance, monopoly. The fact that monopoly earns extraordinarily unfair profit and thus inefficient is as black-and-white and severe as the inefficiency caused by improper government control.

In essence, this is a book of Rand's philosophy. She doesn't believe in the middle ground. Whereas I always believe that life is about searching balance points between different pairs of contradictions, in other words, about searching for the middle ground. Pure market won't lead to efficiency, nor will pure government planning; there has to be a combination of the two, at a ratio determined by a given country. However, it is much more difficult to implicate than to say so. Perhaps, this is the root why Americans are so afraid of nationalization. Nevertheless, I do agree that market should be the base; government should merely be the adjustment. I have no doubt that even Karl Max would agree, that Capitalism comes before Socialism.

The major struggle I had while reading the book was about her moral code, which given as John Galt's oath: "I swear by my life and my love of it that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for the sake of mine.” I find it too selfish to lead to a sustainable and harmonious Atlantis promised in the book. When Ayn Rand emphasized on the moral hazard brought about by the sacrificial moral code, she ignored the aftermath of her own -- the best example being the current financial crisis. Besides, what about love from parents to their children? What about compromises between lovers? Isn't such sanctification exist, as merely knowing your children are happy, or your lover are happy because of you?

Nevertheless, I agree on not accepting "undeserved rewards and unrewarded duties". I know that I agree on this, but I've not been living on it. Or to be more specific, I accept undeserved rewards but reject unrewarded duties. After all, I am greedy. Yet, this is something that worth keeping in mind: to work hard enough to deserve the reward I want.

I also agree on loving one's life, regarding it as the highest of all. I thought I've always lived this, though occasionally, I'd thought about Patrovics whose poem was one of the corner stone of Chinese education: "For my love, I'll sacrifice life; for liberty, I'll sacrifice my love." By this, we were taught to accept the rank: liberty > love > life. Also, we were taught the revenge story of Emperor Gou Jian, who endured being a slave of Emperor Fu Chai who defeated him, and waited for years before regained his freedom and won the next war against Emperor Fu Chai and earned liberty for himself and his citizens. By this story, we were taught to accept this rank: life > liberty. For as long as you are alive, you still have chance to get what you want. But aren't these creed contradict each other? At this stage, I'm not capable for philosophical challenges. But I when I'm puzzled I do try to understand the situation from the principle aspect.  It was during the wind surfing class. The girl in my team sailed out but fell in the water on her way back. As she paddled back towards the shore, it's obvious that she's getting exhausted. Nobody in our team offered help. As she swam nearer, I, who was taught by so many heroic stories in which heroes saved others selflessly, who believed that it's a ultimate virtue to help others in difficulty, swam towards her and helped her back without a second thought, simply believed that I should do this. I don't remember if she thanked me, but I do remember what my best friend said to me when we landed:"Scarlett, you shouldn't have done that. You shouldn't have swum out there without a life jacket." I was astonished and muttered:"I thought she needed help..." "There are tutors who would take care of that." Very true. It was somebody else's duty. I should not have done that. I should treasure my life. What if the river is more dangerous than I expected? My swimming towards the girl might make things more complicated once the tutor comes to help. The bottom line is, different part of the society should fulfill its own duty and let people mind their own business. Some people consider this as "cultural difference". Other examples/stereotypes being: Americans are more independent than Chinese;  Americans are more self-awared than Chinese, etc. In my opinion, these are only superficial phenomena. The underlying cause is the value system, the moral code the society identified.

Similarly, should I give my money to beggars? It's Government's responsibility to offer shelters and social benefits, with tax-payer's money.  Suppose people are willing to help the beggars on the street, then the beggars would prefer to stay where they are and be fed instead of traveling to the shelter, which in turn become a waste of tax-payers' money, inefficiency thus created. Additionally, there are always lazy people who might want to use others' generosity and don't mind becoming beggars. In this way, it's not difficult to predict a vicious cycle. Of course, some may argue that people's kindness/tolerance are bounded. But doesn't this mean that we need to check our premise, and to adjust assumption? There are many other similar issues that once magnified, become principle issues. It seems that myself have come to a contradiction: I was against Ayn Rand's extremism, but trapped in my middle ground searching as well. Alas, I'll stop here.


Provided that the book represents the essence of American culture, it definitely worth the time and effort to read and digest. After all, to understand a culture is to decipher its moral codes and value system.
 
 
6/4/2009

2009Jun 4th

*   鲍彤:“六四”一定会得到重新评价 -- From BBC 中文网.
When we bitterly resented Japanese's distorting history, what is our stand on ignoring our own history?

* Survivors Confront Unsettled Legacy of Tiananmen -- From Wall Street Journal.
The blood once shed would not wasted.
6/2/2009

Escaping mutter

I know I am escaping, again, from the difficulty I encounter in my research.

An intern-less summer, I work, for myself. I started confidently with the very first of a pile of papers I planned to read and stuck with a word in the second line: "unit root" -- I knew it -- I knew that that Time Series would come back and bite on me!

I turn to the book, Atlas Shrugged, which I've found fascinating for its enlightening philosophy, yet the feeling of guilty, of betrayal floating between the lines, sneering at me. Gasped, I shut the book tightly closed.
I idled from one blog to the other, intentionally avoiding serious economic analysis. Not at all being surprised by the surprise that Harry's blog gave to me, once again. The warm and sweet entrance page,  and a meaningful entry, Seven Years. It's been seven years since I was a despairing high school graduate! How time flew by. As another departure season is ahead, everybody knows that, for somebody, once you utter "see you", they'll probably never ever see "you" again. Let's just close our eyes for the moment and pray, that those "they" are not somebody you treasure that much.

I'm sitting in this tranquil little town in the U.S., half an earth away from my hometown, with my beloved sitting beside me working on his own research. I can feel his joy from each step of progress he made and I cannot deny I envy him. All the dreams I once dreamed are still vivid and I know I haven't achieved them yet. How come I feel so numb at this moment? Or, is it that I've been numb for a while and not until now did I become aware of it?

13 hours later, I'll have my four wisdom teeth pulled out.
It's definitely painful to obtain wisdom. Yet, the key question here is, I suffer the pain, will I gain any wisdom?

There is no way to escape, you have to face it.
5/21/2009

牢骚

先声明一下,小牢骚不足以破坏大情绪。情绪基调定稳在看到成绩单的那一刻:三个A,一个A+. LOL~~ 不枉我最后两周疯魔的状态。

小牢骚之一——诡异的成绩
每到春季学期,四五门课,尚能全A,秋季两三门,勉强得B(连个B+都没有Baring teeth)。下个学期又是三门很重的课,无论如何要打破这个诅咒!

小牢骚之二——绝望的医疗
大抵是我近几个月智商跌得太厉害了,上帝决定补给我一些智慧。经过近两年的蛰伏,5月18日晚饭前,我的No.32苏醒了,从我意识到它复苏的伸展到右侧腮腺淋巴全面酸胀,历时不足半个小时。感谢亲爱的MPE,感谢Addy&Josh,帮我找药、配盐水,约牙医。
继而,我有幸体验了美国令人绝望的医疗体系。约牙医,并不是第二天便能就诊,我很幸运约到了周三(20日)早晨9点。寒暄、填表、等待,9点40,终于坐到了就诊的椅子上。常规检查、拍片子、洗牙,并被告知1)有蛀牙一颗,下周(28日)来补,125刀;2)需要联系口腔手术诊所拔掉四颗智齿。付款,210刀。联系口腔手术,约了下周五(29日)早晨。本以为这就可以看到我纯白的智慧化身了,结果下周才是个面议,具体手术时间到时再约,至于能约到什么时候犹未可知……但现在可以知道的是价钱,至少两千,并术前付款。为什么时间延迟只体现在我领钱的时候?
一点忠告给即将赴美的朋友们,如果在国内拍过智齿的片子,知道迟早要拔掉,那么就在国内拔掉,一来不用辗转拖延几个星期,二来就算满口牙都扒掉,貌似也花不了2000人民币?

 
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Scarlett Zuowrote:
Cast distant for big fish.
June 23
Scarlett Zuowrote:
谢谢!前面的呓语没有看懂,只看懂了最后的,哈哈~
Apr. 21
jiayi liwrote:
我想了一天,终于有所成效.觉得我太及时了,最近事情很乱,也希望自己能从容应对,但是总觉得那个大概是个自己想象的意境吧.许久没有来踩了,其实我想说的最重要的话是, 亲爱的, 生日快乐.~
Apr. 21
Anqi Zuowrote:
人间事本匆匆,需优雅从容的应对。
生日快乐,永远快乐。
Apr. 20
Jussara Lunawrote:
Hi,Scarlet!! How are you?
I wish you a wonderful day.
Hugs, Jussara
Apr. 8
骨子里的中式情愫,抽三两丝氤氲在此

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